Thelonious Drevnerussky, age 20, died this evening in some city which our hapless interns forgot the name of (they were severely beaten for their insolence) by means of jumping off a skyscraper. though no video footage exists (due to school computers crashing second life after every attempted video take) a few shoddy snapshots and some secondhand accounts were salaged and added to this obituary for entertainment purposes.
Thelonious somehow managed to fly on top of a skyscraper around 6:15 pm on sunday february 17th. Eyewitnesses report him having said
"goodbye cruel world!!!! This is what you get for gypping me on hanna montana tickets for the LAST TIME!!!"
The CIA has refused to comment on man's ability to fly.
Thelonious then blurted a few choice expletives and proceeded to jump over the edge of the skyscraper, plummeting precisely one and a half fuck-ton stories to the ground below. Though no animals were hurt during the process of Thelonious's suicide, PETA has still put out a public statement that they do not support his actions due to the "potential danger he posed to pigeons in flight around the building".
Mr. Drevnerussky was pronounced dead on impact by Gandolf the Grey at 6:25 pm. several homeless men and one ugly prostitute showed up to mourn his passing (it was later divulged that these were the only people who cared about Thelonious).
Though no true suicide note was found either on Thelonious's person or the imaginary place were he is beleived to have resided, one short note was found on the back of a Record and Tape Trader's recipt in his back pocket. it cryptically read
"Dan Ellis aka Thelonious Drevnerussky, performing Jed Curtis' Music For Wise Men"
Though confirmed to be very much dead, someone ridiculously similar in appearance and mannerisms was seen not 5 minutes later at a german techno raver beach party.
The NSA has refused to comment on punk's abilities to never, ever, ever die.
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